G. Richard Shell – Bargaining for Advantage

G. Richard Shell – Bargaining for Advantage

The link

G. Richard Shell - Bargaining for Advantage

What it is

“Bargaining for Advantage” is a book on negotiation, with the sympathetic byline “negotiation strategies for reasonable people”. The book is popular enough that you can find it at any large enough local or online bookstore.

What it means to me

The main lesson that this book taught me is that negotiation is not an ‘underhanded’ process where each party is trying to get one over the other. “Win-win solution” is a term so popular it has almost become a cliche, but this book helped me realise that a "win-win" is often possible - if both parties put in the work to make it happen.

The most important principle? Know what you want, and ask for what you want. 

I’ve always found it hard to come forward and say “I want this”. Instead, I have relied on hints, reputation, and references to ‘standards’ to hopefully be given what wanted.  The problem with this tactic is that you completely depend on someone else to 1) pick up on your signals, and 2) interpret them the way you mean them to. 

The second part is especially relevant due to the fact that people tend to have vastly different worldviews. They naturally tend to project their worldview onto you, and interpret your actions in their context.

99% of the time, the best way to get what you want out of a negotiation is to make sure the other party knows what’s important to you, and why. The remaining 1% is best left to Mergers & Acquisitions bankers and poker movies, anyway.

Applying this principle has gotten me results (and even a job) I wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. More importantly, it has made my life simpler. Going into a negotiation knowing what I want and why, and allowing myself to say so, removes a lot of the stress for me. Instead of ‘negotiating’, I can focus on being myself in a conversation.